Temporary Fillings

Yesterday was as stressful as any day could be.  While I had hoped it to be a day where I could finally relax, maybe watch Netflix or read a book, it turned out to be one of the most challenging days of the week.  It seemed like my husband was getting on my nerves, all four kids were acting up and my youngest daughter, who has Aspergers, had one continuous meltdown all day.  I seriously considered if it would really be that bad if I just bought a train ticket and took off to destination Nowhere.  I mean, they would recover okay without me right?

I quickly came to my senses and realized that even though it is sometimes hard, I really do love those LugHeads that I call my family, so it would probably be a good idea if I stayed.  I mean, after about a week of uninterrupted reading, web surfing and drinking fruity drinks, I'd probably get bored anyway.

So, anyhow, I'm feeling completely overwhelmed by everything and what do I do to overcome the stress that is boiling up on the inside?  Do I go to my prayer closet (my bathroom) and pray like all of the mom blogs make it seem that it is so easy to do?  NO!  Do I ask the husband to watch the kids for a bit so I can go take a walk around the neighborhood so that I can clear my head?  NOPE!  Do I even do the classic count to ten, so I don't lose my cool?  NUH-UH!  This girl here drives to the neighborhood market (and that could have been my walk to blow off steam since the market is pretty much right up the street) and I buy the biggest bag of nachos that I could find.  I come back home and devour those babies!

Now, I would be a bald faced liar, if I said that them nachos were not good.  They tasted awesome!  It was like eating crispy cheddar heaven in bag!  I ate so many, I think that I am still brushing orange crumbs off of my chin.  I forgot to mention that I finished off the bag this morning BEFORE breakfast, so there's that...

The point of this story is not to advertise for the major yummy cheese nacho company.  The point of this story is why I reached for those yummy nachos.  I was looking to fill a need on the inside.  Unfortunately, I look to fill some of my internal needs in that manner too often, which is one reason why I struggle with my weight.  

What I really wanted was peace in the midst of the chaos, to feel loved when I was feeling vulnerable, and to be noticed when I was feeling ignored.  Although those chips were mighty good, they did nothing to fill the voids that I felt on the inside.  It was like putting a wet band aid on a bruise. It may stay up there for a minute, but it's not going to stick very long and therefore it is not going to fix the problem.

Although I am not fond of cliches, I will say that it is true that hindsight is 20/20.  What I should have done is gone in that prayer closet and just asked for God's help in the situation.  It didn't need to be a drawn out two hour session, and to be honest, with four growing kids, it's just not doable a lot of the time.  I could have gone into the bathroom, shut the door and taken just five or ten minutes and prayed (hopefully enough time before the kids or the hubby comes knocking on the door looking for something that is in the spot that it always is in.)   I could have also taken the time to go  walk for fifteen minutes or so just to clear my head (as a bonus, I could have also used that time to pray).  My dear husband was off of work and I'm pretty sure that the world would not have fallen apart if I was gone for fifteen minutes.

As a result of my temporary filling, it ended up in kind of a disaster.  I was in a horrible mood all evening, I was yelling at my kids, yelling at my husband, yelling at the dog... and we don't even have a dog!  There were a lot a tears, and not just mine, but the kids too.

Your temporary fill may not be food.  It could be drinking too much wine (yes, I had to go there), spending too much time on social media to escape it all (can you say Guilty because I can!)  or pretty much anything that keeps you from dealing with the real issue.  

If we want to have peace and wholeness, we have to reach for the proper thing.  We can pray, exercise, talk to a trusted friend or counselor, ask for help (that's a hard one for many of us isn't it?) or even meditate.  If we learn to deal with our internal longings the right way, we will be happier in the long run and so will our families.

John 6:35  The Jesus declared "I am the bread of life.  Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

Psalm 46:1  God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Mosaic

I have been feeling led to write more often but I have allowed my doubts to hold me back. There is a lot of self-talk going on with me here and it isn't all good either.

"Well, you know, my grammar needs polishing and what do I have to say that's interesting anyway?"
 "It's silly to think that anyone would want to hear what I have to say.  C'mon!" 
"Maybe this strong sense that I have to write will pass; you know, like bad gas."

I quickly realized that I will not be satisfied until I stop making excuses and do what I felt led to do.  I often complain of not feeling fulfilled, but what am I doing about it?  It's like when I complain about that I really want to lose these extra pounds but then an hour later I'm licking the inside of a candy bar wrapper.  The pounds aren't going to come off on its own, but I have to put in the commitment and the work.  It's the same with getting the most out of our lives.  We have to take steps to bring about the changes needed in our lives.

What is that thing that you keep sensing that you have to do but you haven't done it yet?  What is your passion in life?  Is your passion scrolling through social media all day looking at everyone else life?  Of course not!  Shut that phone off (after you read this of course) and get out and do something toward making your life better!  

As I look out of my window at this beautiful day, one thing that I am certain of is that life is meant to be lived!  We are to live an abundant life!  We were not put here to just live, or as someone once said, "to pay bills and die."  We are here to make a difference in the world and in people's lives.  We are to enjoy our lives. Life doesn't have to be perfect to start living it to the fullest.  Just start where you are.  Change one small habit every week.  Commit to do one thing towards your goals daily.  When a negative thought goes through your mind, let it filter through gratitude and come out of your mouth as thankfulness.

Do not feel like what you have to offer is not needed. EVERYONE has a part to play.  It's as if the world is a mosaic and we all have our own little piece to add.  Yours may not look like mine and mine may not look like the next person's, but when you put all of the little pieces together, it makes a beautiful masterpiece!  

So, dear friend, whatever it is that is on your heart to do, take steps, even if it is tiny steps, towards walking in your purpose.  Do not think that what you have to offer is insignificant.  Our world needs you to build the beautiful mosaic!


John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I came that they may have life,  and have it abundantly.
1Peter 4:10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.
Philipians 4:13  I can do all things through him who strengthens me. 

Quicksand

Have you ever felt like you are traveling along the road called life and everything seems to be going fine, maybe not perfect, but okay and then you fall into quicksand and can not figure how to get out?  Examples of quicksand in life may be financial woes, divorce or relationship issues, or maybe even emotional turmoil.
Sometimes we fall into quicksand due to careless choices or simply by not paying attention to the signs in our lives.  Other times stepping into the sinking pit may be totally unavoidable.  So how does one get out when they have inadvertently fallen in?

1.  Prevention is obviously the best way.  You won't need to get out of a pit if you don't fall into one in the first place.  Learn to recognize any areas in your life that may contain traps that you could sink into.  Recognize the signs.  Be wise, tread carefully and most of all, be alert!  If you tend to fall into financial pits most often, think of ways that you could maybe increase your income, change spending habits or save for emergencies.  If there are relationship issues, pray and ask God to change YOU.  You can not change other people but if you change, your responses and your attitude will be different, and that will affect how you interact in your relationships.  Also, if you have a positive attitude, the right relationships will seek you out. 
2. If you should miss the signs and should still find yourself waist high in mud, drop everything!  When you are sinking, you do not need anything to weigh you down!  This includes biases, unforgiveness, old baggage, hurts from the past and preconceived ideas. You need to be unburdened and to have your head clear so that you may float to the top.  Otherwise, if you hold on to those things, they may drag you even further down.  Also, try not to panic, because that can also cause you to sink down.  Remember, you need to be able to think clear enough to get out of whatever the situation is that you have found yourself sinking into!
3.  Take small steps.  This ensures that if you do take the wrong step, that it won't be as hard to recover from  as it would be if you had taken larger steps.  Maybe you need to save ten or twenty dollars a paycheck to begin building up your savings.  If you are troubled by emotional turmoil, reach out to a trusted friend, keep a feelings journal or commit to doing small things that make you happy at least once a day.
4.   Sometimes, no matter what you do, it seems that you can not free yourself.  Now what I am about to say will sound scary, but you may have to lie back and allow your feet to float free out of the circumstance.  Then you will be able to roll over and climb out.  I can't tell you how many times that I had finally resolved that there was nothing that I could do about a certain situation after trying and then it eventually worked itself out.  Often you can get dirty, you may even get hurt but most importantly you will survive.  If you survive, you can then work on getting things back together in your life.
5.  Take your time.  Often times, the situations that we find ourselves in take months, even years for us to get ourselves into.  So naturally, it is going to take some time to get out.  I can tell you from experience, that being desperate and rushing to do something to get yourself out of a situation may make things worse.  It is wiser to stop for a moment, pray, come up with a plan and then take steps to overcome.  If you just react, it can create an even bigger mess and a deeper pit, which may take even longer to get out of.

Life is definitely a learning experience and I am learning these things everyday.  Even as I write this, I can think of many areas in my life where I can apply these life lessons.  As long as you and I have life inside us, then we have a chance to overcome any challenges in our lives.  This will make us stronger and we will grow.  Also when we are strong enough, we may be able to give someone else a helping hand up out of quicksand and make their journey easier.



PSALM 40:2 He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps.



Sources and Citations

1. http://www.wikihow.com/Get-out-of-Quicksand

One Day at a Time

It was his first birthday and we  decided to visit the water amusement park to celebrate.  He had just learned to walk and toddled along and would occasionally plop down on the ground whenever he lost his balance. I looked into those bright little eyes and I commented to my husband about how he was growing up so fast and how it seemed like I had just birthed him.  My husband looked at me and said "Yeah.  Before we know it, he will be five years old and on his way off to kindergarten"!  Even at that time it was hard for me to even consider that "far" ahead into the future.
It is now thirteen years and three other kids later.  Now that bright eyed little boy is a freshman in high school and my YOUNGEST child is in the second grade.  Now I look at my four beautiful children and I wonder where the time has gone.  I feel the ache of regret because sometimes I wish that I could get back the times when they were infants and would lie on me and sleep quietly on my tummy.  I miss when they were toddlers and I would see the wonder in their eyes as they would explore a world that was brand new to them.  I miss when they were preschoolers and I had to sit through six hours of Dora, Yo Gabba Gabba, and Bear in the Big Blue House.  At the time, I allowed the stress of life to cause me to want to hurry life along.  I would say "I can't wait until they go to school so then I can have peace and quiet and finally have my TV to myself."  The truth is, there truly isn't anything on TV anyways and while I do appreciate having quiet time to myself,  I often find myself missing them while they are in school. 
If I could do it all over again,  I would just stop and enjoy the moment that I am in, and not try to rush the future.  We do not live forever on this earth and we will not have these precious moments with our loved ones always.  Kids grow up and they move out, get married and sometimes even move away.  Things happen and people die.  So many people whom I loved and admired are no longer with us.  We have to enjoy each and every moment that God has given us.  No one knows what tomorrow holds so we have to appreciate the little things today. 
I am in no way saying that I am at the point where I appreciate every little thing.  If you were in my house last week, when the kids didn't have school the WHOLE week due to snow days, then you would know that I still have a lot of growing to do!  There were days where I was tempted to go out and plow every road in the city myself just to get the kids out of my house!  I did appreciate having a little extra time to spend with them however and also not having to deal with the harrowing morning rush and sometimes equally frustrating evening homework routine.  It was just nice to slow down for a bit.
Also with each new stage in life there are new challenges.  When your kids are newborns, they may cry a lot and must rely on you for every little thing. When they are toddlers, they are exploring and may get into every little thing.  When they are in elementary school, you have to deal with teachers, homework and bruised knees.  In high school, they are trying to figure out where they fit in this crazy world and may at times even lash out at you, in the process.  Then there is college and adulthood, where parents have to let go (truly hard for me) and can only pray that what we have taught them will help to keep them out of harm's way and help them to thrive in life.  If we always keep saying that we "can not wait until..." we miss out on the beauty of each stage in life.
So what I am trying to say is stop, smell the roses, enjoy the moment and take things one day at a time.

JAMES 4:14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life?  It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and this vanishes away. 

Positively Simple

I have been thinking of starting a blog for several years now, not because I am such an interesting person, but because I come across a lot of interesting things and there are a lot of things that I ponder about on a regular basis. 
One thing that I have been pondering lately is how powerful positivity can be.  The dictionary defines the word positive as: (1) independent of changing circumstances, (2) relating to or constituting a motion or device that is definite, unyielding, constant or certain in it's action (Merriam-Webster). Then it hits me! WOW! My attitude does not have to change just because of my circumstances.  I have to stand firm with a positive attitude, unyielding to the circumstances around.  I am starting to realize that if I DECIDE that ,no matter what, I'm going to keep a smile on my face, I'm going to treat my neighbor right, even if I know that they can't stand me.  We can not wait until we feel like having a positive attitude to change.  Having a positive attitude changes how we feel!   Are we always going to feel like being positive? No.  Will there be times when someone treats us wrong, or the kids get on our nerves, or even times we feel unrecognized and unappreciated; and the last thing we feel like is positive?  Of course there will be.  We are human.  The secret is when we fall off of the train, get back up, dust our britches off and get back on the train.  The wonderful thing is that we will begin to feel that positivity more often and that nagging negative feeling will visit us less often.  I mean, think about it.  Would you stick around somewhere you are not wanted?